she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
