I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
