i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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