Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
