whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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