So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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