You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
