Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
