We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
