We're facebook friends in real life
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Four minutes until I can fart!
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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