Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
