Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
