He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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