so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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