ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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