"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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