that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
