After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize