Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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