We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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