The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
