KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
