So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Text me some of your sweat
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
