you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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