speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
