On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
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