drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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