She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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