After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
