I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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