I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
