Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
