I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
