please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
FUCK WHALES
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize