i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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