yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
