Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Michael Bay diarrhea
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
