Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize