And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we're making bets on your personal life
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
