She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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