Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
