I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
