i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Randomize