I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
