just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize