Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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