The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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