I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
