I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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