somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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