YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
