idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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