This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
