I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
God I need to hump something, right now.
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