Dual....:-)
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
