I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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