I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he puts the penis in happiness.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
