fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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