am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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