Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize